Stuff Christians Like: Hating Halloween
Oct. 31st, 2008 01:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kimana517I thought y'all might enjoy this Halloween treat. =o)
Stuff Christians Like: Hating Halloween
Last year, at the first house we visited on Halloween night, my two year old daughter McRae walked inside the minute the door was opened. Before the 75 year old man at the door could react, she had juked passed him and was deep into his living room exploring the place.
In her defense, Halloween is kind of confusing. For 364 days of the year we tell her not to accept candy from strangers. Then on Halloween, we dress her up as a big blue M&M and encourage her to use her hand as some sort of crane device to pick up the maximum payload possible when strangers offer her buckets of treats to choose from.
It would be a lot simpler if our church had a Halloween alternative event. They’re pretty popular these days and come in a variety of shapes and colors. Some churches hold fall festivals or harvest hayrides or Trunk and Treat, an event that combines both strangers with candy and a place usually best suited for a spare tire. I think those are great. I appreciate that different Christians handle the whole trick or treat thing in different ways. But since my dad, a minister, a church planter, a former member of the executive committee of the Southern Baptist Convention took us trick or treating, I don’t have much experience with Halloween alternative events. (Sorry to throw you under the Halloween bus dad, but that’s what you get for making me be a “hobo” for 6 years running, a costume that involves wearing old clothes and charcoal from the grill. Easiest/worst costume ever.)
I was going to create my own version of a Halloween alternative event, complete with a fantastical acronym and name. (In the original post I actually named my event "Junk in the Trunk" because I figured I could hire Sir-Mix-A-Lot because he needs the money.) But then I got an email from my friend Bryan about a Halloween event he went to as a child at the First Christian Church of Hixville. (He runs the great site Prayers for Blowouts.) I was instantly reminded that fact is stranger than fiction and that you readers are funnier than me. Want to guess what the name of the event was?
HATCH
On the surface that is probably a B- idea. I mean at least they named it after something car trunk related. I didn’t think it was that awesome until he told me what it stood for.
Hixville's
Alternative
To
Carnal
Halloween
I heart that. If that was a bumper sticker I would mail a Self Addressed Stamped Envelope to request one. I would dress up as David or Samson (no one ever goes as Enoch) and go to that event in about 2 seconds. I would expect to eat some “alternative oreos” that didn’t get eaten at VBS and drink forearm-stirred orange drink and use the smoke machine the youth minister tricked the church into getting and sing Friends are Friends Forever when the whole thing was over. That’s just how I get down.
Stuff Christians Like: Hating Halloween
Last year, at the first house we visited on Halloween night, my two year old daughter McRae walked inside the minute the door was opened. Before the 75 year old man at the door could react, she had juked passed him and was deep into his living room exploring the place.
In her defense, Halloween is kind of confusing. For 364 days of the year we tell her not to accept candy from strangers. Then on Halloween, we dress her up as a big blue M&M and encourage her to use her hand as some sort of crane device to pick up the maximum payload possible when strangers offer her buckets of treats to choose from.
It would be a lot simpler if our church had a Halloween alternative event. They’re pretty popular these days and come in a variety of shapes and colors. Some churches hold fall festivals or harvest hayrides or Trunk and Treat, an event that combines both strangers with candy and a place usually best suited for a spare tire. I think those are great. I appreciate that different Christians handle the whole trick or treat thing in different ways. But since my dad, a minister, a church planter, a former member of the executive committee of the Southern Baptist Convention took us trick or treating, I don’t have much experience with Halloween alternative events. (Sorry to throw you under the Halloween bus dad, but that’s what you get for making me be a “hobo” for 6 years running, a costume that involves wearing old clothes and charcoal from the grill. Easiest/worst costume ever.)
I was going to create my own version of a Halloween alternative event, complete with a fantastical acronym and name. (In the original post I actually named my event "Junk in the Trunk" because I figured I could hire Sir-Mix-A-Lot because he needs the money.) But then I got an email from my friend Bryan about a Halloween event he went to as a child at the First Christian Church of Hixville. (He runs the great site Prayers for Blowouts.) I was instantly reminded that fact is stranger than fiction and that you readers are funnier than me. Want to guess what the name of the event was?
HATCH
On the surface that is probably a B- idea. I mean at least they named it after something car trunk related. I didn’t think it was that awesome until he told me what it stood for.
Hixville's
Alternative
To
Carnal
Halloween
I heart that. If that was a bumper sticker I would mail a Self Addressed Stamped Envelope to request one. I would dress up as David or Samson (no one ever goes as Enoch) and go to that event in about 2 seconds. I would expect to eat some “alternative oreos” that didn’t get eaten at VBS and drink forearm-stirred orange drink and use the smoke machine the youth minister tricked the church into getting and sing Friends are Friends Forever when the whole thing was over. That’s just how I get down.
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no subject
Date: 2008-10-31 05:42 pm (UTC)Dale's mom always had "alternative oreos" in her house, and they were always old and soft and crumbly.
no subject
Date: 2008-11-09 04:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-31 07:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-31 11:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-09 04:12 am (UTC)