Thursday, 29 July 2010 15:39
kimana517: (me : modeling)
[personal profile] kimana517
I've been writing this survey for a while, adding questions here and there when I thought of them. It will be fun to see if this one comes back around in a few months like the last one I wrote did.  =o)

1. Did you ever wish you had a different name?
Not anymore, but when I was a little kid I wished my name was Tiffany, and then a few years later I wished it was Jade. You can see how I evolved as a child. LOL. And can I state for the record how much the name Tiffany would NOT suit me now?

2. What is your middle name? Lynn - just like every other female whose middle name is not Marie or Elizabeth.  ;o)

3. What is something unusual about you? I'm an oxymoron: tomboy who dresses like a girl, logical yet creative, easygoing yet stubborn, unemotional but cries easily, etc.

4. Where does most of your money go? The mortgage.

5. How do you take your coffee and/or tea? Coffee: flavored cream (usually 2 of the little creamer buckets) and maybe one sugar. Tea: little bit of milk, medium amount of sugar.

6. How many miles are on your car? Almost 130,000.

7. You could eat your weight in:
home-grown tomatoes with salt. And donuts.

8. What is your favorite lunch meat?
Turkey! And bacon!

9. What is your favorite drink?
Hard cider. Yum.

10. What is the best movie you've seen recently?

11. What is the farthest you've been from home?
I'm not sure which is farther, Australia or Papua New Guinea, but either one is about as far as you can get.

12. Are you a cat person, a dog person, or a something else person?
I'm totally a dog person, but I like cats too. We'd have one if I didn't think Nala or Isaac would kill it. Heh.

13. Is there anything that you didn't like to eat as a kid but you like now?
Onions, peppers, coffee, tea, and much more.

14. What do you wear to work?
Basically whatever I want. It's nice. When I first started working there I tried to dress in business casual... and then I saw Ken come in in shorts!

15. What are you looking forward to?
Going to Ethiopia to get Elijah, and being his mom!

16. What style do you most regret wearing when you were younger?
I didn't really have any style when I was younger. LOL. But the bike shorts with large, baggy t-shirts, and canvas shoes were pretty bad.

17. What is the default ringtone on your cell phone?
The bridge of "Save Me" by Hanson.

18. Would you shave your head for $1,000,000? $100,000? $10,000?
Heck yes! I need money more than I need hair. Hair grows. Money doesn't.

19. If you had to choose one clothing store to shop at for the rest of your life (and everything there was free for you), which store would you choose?
If everything was free... oh, man. Maybe Banana Republic, Ann Taylor/LOFT, or a nice department store so I'd have options.

20. What are three things you wish you liked?
Exercising, cooking, calling people.

21. What are three things you wish you didn't like as much as you do?
Shopping, tasty-but-bad-for-me food, um... always correcting mistakes and inaccuracies. That tends to annoy people, especially when it's for things that don't really matter. I'm trying to be better about this though.

22. Is there anything that you disagree with many of your friends about?

23. What are some things that it seemed like everyone else had before you did?
Cell phones, LCD/Plasma TVs.

24. Why did it take you a while to get those things?
I didn't need them and they were too expensive at first.

25. What are some trends you didn't like at first, but they grew on you?
Skinny jeans and gladiator sandals (although I still don't like either thing too extreme or on everyone), among others.

26. What's something that frustrates you about yourself?
I am awesome at making close friends online, but kind of suck at making them in person. It seems like people are so busy here; it's so hard to get close to most people.

27. Your favorite albums of all time are:
dc Talk's "Jesus Freak" and Hanson's "The Walk".

What is your favorite restaurant? Carrabba's, or any good Japanese steakhouse.

29. Does caffeine affect you?
Rarely and randomly.

What is your dream job? To be an actress or own a small restaurant/cafe.

Feel free to comment with some other questions and I'll add them! And feel free to steal this and do it yourself!

2010-07-29 19:59 (UTC)
ext_33795: (Default)
- Posted by [identity profile]
#18: Who wouldn't! Dude, I'd do it for ONE thousand.

#26: Oh girl. I have been trying to figure out the same thing for myself. Is it that I'm not open enough with people in offline life? Is it that most people are over-scheduled? Is it that most of my online friends are vastly more Amish than average? All of the above? At any rate, it STINKS. If I lived in the same town with you, I'd call you up like a million times a week, like "Bethany, wanna come over and eat my homemade bread? Bethany, wanna watch a girly movie with me? Bethany, you wanna come over and laugh at my dogs?" hehe.

2010-07-29 20:44 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
Apparently you've never seen The Amazing Race? Every few seasons they have a Fast Forward (gives you a huge leg up on the other teams, and at least once has basically given that team the million dollars) that involves both team members shaving their heads bald. There have been several teams who didn't do it. Crazy people. If I had a 1 in 3 chance at a million bucks if I shaved my head, well, get the clippers and call me Bruce Willis.

These are the same things I have wondered. I didn't USED to suck at making in-person friends. I had good friends from church and my neighborhood when I was a kid/teen. At WOLBI I had TONS of friends. And then... I don't know what happened. I got married, yes, but I still have lots of free time. I used to ask people to go shopping with me or to the movies, but they almost never did, so I stopped asking. I also hate that you have to schedule things. Like, it seems like if I don't ask people to come over or do something a few days before, they never can. When I was a teenager I would just show up at my friend's house and we would do whatever. You can't do that anymore. People are too worried about their house being messy or something. It's dumb.

And you know I would do the same if you lived nearby! Maybe one day we can compromise and live in one of the Carolinas or something. You'd have snow and I'd have a beach.

2010-07-29 21:51 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
I've been angsting over the friend thing too, a lot the last few days... only I don't know that I make "close" friends online that easily either. It just seems like no one is interested in making friends "in person," and as an Introvert, I'm not particularly comfortable in being aggressive and being the one to constantly set things up, call people, make appointments, etc. I just... get forgotten. All the time. Even in areas I should be thought of, by the time I get around to suggesting it, the people I know are already going with someone else. (Like Eclipse. I asked the pastor's wife if she would like to go, and of course she was going with another group -- again, even though the same thing happened last year, and it would have been nice to be remembered and invited.)

There comes a point when you just stop trying to be remembered.

At least both of you have husbands to hang out with. I don't. At least my family is cool. I can always talk to them, but it would be nice to have friends to hang out with. =P

2010-07-29 23:21 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
Wow, I can ditto almost your entire first paragraph. That's actually how I've felt almost my entire life, like I am forgotten. Because I am. Even though people are 100% entitled to invite other friends out to lunch and not me, it still hurts when I find out about it afterward, if I am friends with both of them. I think it's mostly because everyone else has a best friend, and apart from Isaac, I never have. If you have a best friend, you are guaranteed to have someone who always wants to hang out with you. I have never had that. I was always the "substitute person". And I still am, at least here. If that. Usually I am completely forgotten, as you said. And I'm quite sure that if I were more active at calling people and hadn't gotten frustrated at the lack of response when I used to do that, I would be closer to people, but I really don't *like* calling people. I know that's my own issue, but jeez, half the people I know here are outgoing extroverts, and they can't remember me? Isaac says he thinks it's because I a very independent and, I guess, put off some sort of independent air, so people may assume I am already busy with other people and don't need them. But jeez, I work at my church. How else am I supposed to meet people if not work and church? Our neighbors don't talk to each other, and none of them are remotely in our life stage, either. That leaves no way to get to know anyone. So, my good friends are online. And although I give the internet most of the credit for building our friendships, those I am closest to are those whom I have also spent time with in person. I really wish you could've joined us for our SIPsters weekend. You would've fit in quite well with the group, I think.

There comes a point when you just stop trying to be remembered.
Heh. No kidding. And then I get on LJ and write a sad entry about how lonely I am and you guys reassure me that you love me and I keep those emails for years and read them when I am really sad. (No, really. I have some that you and Esther wrote me in August 2008.)

Isaac is my favorite person to hang out with, but he works 40+ hours a week and then has seminary classes to do and papers to write. And then there's tax season. =oÞ But I am thankful for him and wish you had someone right there too. =o/

2010-07-29 23:45 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
I think that's why I have always identified with the characters in Elizabethtown so much -- because they too are substitute people.

Growing up, I always felt left out, ignored, and forgotten. It happened a lot, where I would express supreme interest in going somewhere or doing something, and my friends would STILL go without me. I never really thought I was that forgettable, but maybe I am! =P

Basically, I have no idea why some people, like you and I, get overlooked and forgotten about all the time, because we're both personable in person, we get along with people just fine, and we are certainly willing to be friendly, and make time for other people, and get out and do things. I almost never turn down an invitation because I feel blessed to be invited -- even if it's an inconvenience and I don't know the person very well. It just seems like most people have "enough" friends. In my case, I COULD do things with the older women of the church, since they would almost never turn me down... but I would like to hang out with peers, people I have something in common with, you know?

That leaves no way to get to know anyone.

That is so my life. How do I get to know anyone? I don't, not outside church, anyway, and as I found out -- the young adults have no interest in being friendly with one another. Hence, why I'm royally screwed when it comes to finding a spouse. I have no way to meet them. Period. Not that I'm having a pity party right now or anything. ;)

If it makes you feel any better, if I lived within a hundred miles of you, I'd still see you all the time. And if we lived in the same town, you'd be sick of me inviting you over for movies, pizza, heck even to walk the dog. Someday, we really should consider that commune. ;)

2010-07-30 00:12 (UTC)
ext_33795: (Default)
- Posted by [identity profile]
*waves hand* I hear you too! I never, ever felt I was anyone's BFF growing up. I also think part of my deal is having been burned before – like Bethany said, after a while you stop calling. Well I have had the experience of being abandoned by friends several times, and I think that's made me too wary of being open.

That and I think our culture is over-scheduled liek whoa. I never have commitments in the evenings, or even most weekends, but most people I know if you want to even have dinner with them you have to plan six weeks in advance. Ugh! I just have this deep-seated conviction that it's not supposed to be that way!

2010-07-30 01:32 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
I didn't have a BFF growing up either -- I had people I hung out with after church now and again, but that was it. I was miserable and lonely and desperate for attention -- and I thank GOD that my parents home-schooled me, because I would have been so needing of friendship in school that either I would have wound up in the loser's group of rejects, or I would have tried terribly hard to get into the "in" crowd and no doubt done some things I was not proud of. =P

I hear you on the abandonment / abuse angle. That makes me leery of trusting anyone, because deep down I suspect they're going to burn me too.

I absolutely do not believe society is meant to be so divided and hectic. I think it's a combination of modern conveniences (we no longer *need* one another to survive, and people can move around much more than they used to, when there were generations of tightly-knit communities -- daughters growing up together, then granddaughters, great granddaughters, etc) and constant distractions. I think, though, as we have proven -- people really are terribly lonely, they just don't traditionally express it. I think in some ways, we as a society have "forgotten" how to be friendly -- we no longer invite people to our house for dinner, or ask them to come out and assist with a fun project. (Why do we always paint our rooms alone? Why not have a painting party, with pizza and a movie at the end of it? Or just conversation?)

The thing is... even I fall into that trap. I find it more comfortable to just stick in a movie and watch it WITH someone than to just have them out for conversation, because I'm intimidated by conversation with someone I don't know well. But if you never talk, how can you get to know them? I think that's why my relationship with Carissa fell apart -- at some point, we stopped truly communicating and just focused on a handful of interests we had in common. And that's fine, but it wasn't what she wanted, so it frustrated her, and that altered our dynamic, and I felt rejected and got annoyed with her, and BOOM. Implosion.

So... it's not only how to do you FIND friends, or MAKE friends, but how do you STAY friends? I guess I should just be more forward. I'm sure everyone likes to be paid attention to -- I just need to stop being a coward and invite people over more. And hope they can fit me into their schedule. ;)

2010-07-31 21:28 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
I love painting parties! We've had friends over to help us paint every room except when I just did the closet and hallway, since those are such small spaces.

I know that this IS something that goes both ways - that I need to invite people to do things too - but it's just so darn disheartening to ask and ask and keep hearing "No" or "Maybe another time." Then another time never happens and you're still lonely, but sadder than you were before. =o(

2010-07-31 21:44 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
It is disheartening. And that's one time when I wish my "I don't care" mentality would kick in, but alas... it doesn't.

Mom asked me this afternoon why I even NEED friends. Uh, because once in awhile it's nice to, you know, have a DISCUSSION with someone? ;)

2010-07-31 21:45 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
Most people need friends. Even most shy introverts. Even people with Social Anxiety Disorder. That's how God built us. Some people don't, of course, but most people do.

2010-07-31 21:26 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
I never have commitments in the evenings, or even most weekends, but most people I know if you want to even have dinner with them you have to plan six weeks in advance.
This! And it's just as bad for people without kids as people with kids! Like... HOW do you have that much to do ALL the time? I mean, some of the people I know are in college/grad school, so I get that there's homework and stuff, but still. ALL the time??

2010-07-31 21:22 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
See, growing up I always had friends from our neighborhood and from our church. Then at WOLBI I also had lots of friends. It's only post-WOL that I've had this problem. I don't get it. I have changed a lot, but my friendliness hasn't. *sigh*

Can I just add an amen to your entire third paragraph? That is me exactly. All of it. I don't get it.

Well... maybe you could meet a guy online? Actually, I know a guy you might get along with, but who knows, really. He used to go to my church but he just moved to Atlanta. I don't even know if he'd be open to meeting someone online; it's just something that might work for you.

I don't think I'd ever get tired of a good friend wanting to hang out with me. Seriously, now. My problem is most of my friends would never want to live somewhere warm, and I never want to live somewhere cold again. Although, I could possibly deal with that if you or Katharine or someone was nearby. =o)

2010-07-31 21:49 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
I grew up in a really small church, so there weren't any other kids for awhile. I think in a way that's why I am, for the most part, able to handle being alone, because I had to learn to amuse myself, and do things on my own, rather than in "groups." But as I get older, I start craving people more, because I have this horrible notion that I am going to get old and die alone someday, and I'm not altogether fond of it. ;)

Online dating. That could be interesting... Dad's suggestion is for me to attend the local GOP meetings more. Get a fine Republican boy, that's his idea of a good match. Shame the one young man he and mom both like isn't a Christian -- or at least, I don't think he is. If I married him, we'd have quite a bit of property between us, and I'd have an honest to goodness horse-whispering cowboy. Also, he's very introverted and quiet, so we could NOT TALK together. ;)

2010-07-29 20:41 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
You've just inspired me to go eat a homegrown tomato with salt and pepper on it!

I think it's just easier to meet people online because that's what people are online to do. You can be open and vulnerable with people in a way you wouldn't be IRL. It's really hard to make friends as an adult when you aren't in school or if you don't work in an environment with lots of like-minded people around! I'm trying to be better about just inviting people over to do things even if I don't know them very well.

2010-07-29 20:42 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
P.S. I'd do your survey, but for some reason I can't copy/paste it. Boo :(.

2010-07-29 20:44 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
Just kidding. Turned out it was Google Chrome's fault.

2010-07-29 23:31 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
I wish I had that option! =o( My few attempts at growing tomatoes here were total failures.

It's really hard to make friends as an adult when you aren't in school or if you don't work in an environment with lots of like-minded people around!
I think that's my main problem! And people at church are SO BUSY. The one childless couple left is really busy. The ones with kids can never do anything because 3 kids make doing anything so involved. *sigh*

I'm trying to be better about just inviting people over to do things even if I don't know them very well.
I do that, and then we get bored because I suck at small talk. *sigh again*

2010-07-30 00:08 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
I agree with an above statement that said that it might be because you seem so independent, like you already have stuff going on. I have been told that about myself before, and I'm sure if I've been told that, it goes extra for you!

I have the same problem. Geez, it seems like all of us here are having the same issues, and we can't be the only ones! I think lots of people have this issue as young adults. I'm thinking about attending a French group... are there any Meetup groups in Jacksonville that might strike your interest? It's kind of a way to meet people online, but also IRL, so it's win-win!

2010-07-31 20:28 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
Last time I checked there weren't any meetups that interested me. I should check again though.

2010-07-31 21:19 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
Yeah, understandable! The only ones I saw besides the French one were for sports, or gaming, or for parents... nothing that was my cup of tea. A Jacksonville lj girls group would be ideal, huh? Well, if it was filled with lovely people like those you spent your weekend with :D.

2010-07-31 21:24 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
Yeah, I just checked again and still nothing. Singles, Wiccans, politics, and non-active Christian groups seem to make up the majority of things here.

I've looked for other LJers in Jax via the LJ Friend Finder thingy, and they are all either inactive or we have nothing at all in common. =o(

2010-07-31 21:36 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
Haha, yes, there are lots of Wiccans, too! But what are you saying, Bethany? That's not your crowd?

I think a commune is the only solution here!

2010-07-31 21:44 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
You know, I would have no problem with having a Wiccan friend or two if it were a natural thing (like, we met and hit it off or something), but I'm not going to purposely insert myself amongst a group of people who definitely disagree with me on the most important thing in my life in hopes of finding friends. ;o)

Yes! LJ commune FTW! We have to pick a good place though. I'm voting for one of the Carolinas, because 1) they're pretty, 2) they're not cold as long as, say, the Midwest, but 3) there is snow and cold weather for those who want that. Oh, and 4) NC and SC both have beaches. Very important. I say we get a hundred acres or so and split them up among whoever's interested. We can build our houses somewhat near each other so we can still walk from house to house in the winter. *daydreams*

2010-07-31 21:50 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
I feel the same way!

I'd be fine with the Carolinas! Lakes, mountains, beaches, four seasons-- something for everyone!

2010-07-29 21:47 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
You are so not a Tiffany. =D

always correcting mistakes and inaccuracies. That tends to annoy people, especially when it's for things that don't really matter. I'm trying to be better about this though.

LOL. Yes. ;)

2010-07-29 23:31 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
I KNOW. Although back then I kinda was. I was super-girly till I was about 7 years old.

=oÞ ;o)

2010-07-29 23:47 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
So was I. There is not more than one or two pictures we have of me prior to about twelve years old when I was not wearing a dress. =)

I love you, even if you do correct my spelling sometimes, and I have to complain about it to my folks. ;)

2010-07-31 20:33 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
Same here. And pink and purple were my favorite colors. (Purple has returned to being my favorite color, but for different reasons. Hehe.)

LOL. It can't bother you too much, or you wouldn't have asked me to proofread CC. Which reminds me - after I finish catching up on comments, I need to proof a few articles.

2010-07-31 21:51 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
Oh, good! You remembered!

Not that Esther and I were panicking or anything... ;)

2010-07-29 23:58 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
Fun survey! Loved reading your answers. :-) I just might have to snag this! :-)

2010-07-31 20:58 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
Do it! I love writing/reading these surveys. =o)

2010-07-30 03:12 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
But the bike shorts with large, baggy t-shirts, and canvas shoes were pretty bad.

I think everyone who lived through the late 80s/early 90s suffered this same fate. :) I know that there's photographic evidence of me rocking that look...what were we thinking?! :D

2010-07-31 21:00 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
The sad thing is, I was late to the party so I was still wearing that when everyone else was into grunge or the homeschooler look. LOL.

So um... do I know you? Hehe. I see we have a mutual friend and several shared TV interests.

2010-08-03 00:50 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
:) Sorry about not introducing myself earlier - I think I friended you awhile back when [ profile] therightfangirl was having a friending meme. I don't have nearly enough conservative folks on my f-list.

I'm not as active on LJ as I used to be, but I catch up on my f-list every couple weeks, and your meme made me laugh so I had to comment. :D

2010-07-30 15:48 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
"So... it's not only how to do you FIND friends, or MAKE friends, but how do you STAY friends?"

Ok, I can relate to the book that was written from katharhino's comment.

We're soooo busy! (I'm guilty *hides*) In (normal) high schools, your friends were at school, and you did things together, hung out together because you were together all the time. Out of high school, you get jobs and pay bills and get very stressed and work too much and worry about budgets and spending and you FREAK OUT!! (ahem)

I've never had a BFF either. The people I was best friends with, I wasn't their best friend, you know? For them, I was one of ten, twenty people to do things with: they were one of two or three for me. So yeah, I got left out and just not noticed. (This was in college: I didn't even have two in high school :P BOX!!)

Growing up, I never called people or went to their houses, or even had online friends till I was about 17. Laura is one of the best friends I have and she's two thousand miles away! And so now, even when i do have friends I don't ask if I can come over or if they want to come over: it's not a familiar thing for me, and quite frankly I usually feel extremely inadequate next to them, like I think there's no reason they would want to come over and see me! It's mental, but it's very much there.

And since I interact with people so little, I feel awkward and silent and uninteresting when I am around them, which is even more frustrating. They always seem so much more exciting and knowledgeable, and I can't compete. Poor self-esteem lol

Whew, sorry to overload your comments....

I want to try to skinny jeans tucked into boots this winter: since I kinda couldn't last winter :P

About middle name Lynn: last year 12 people graduated from Berean's Academy. I kid you not, over half had a middle name Lynn. Even a guy!

2010-07-31 21:07 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
The people I was best friends with, I wasn't their best friend, you know?
I do know, because that was/is me too! Even Angela. I would probably consider her my best friend, but her best friend is a girl from WOL who lives in Ohio. So it's the same. At least now I have Isaac, but I'd kill for a best girl friend too. But you can't force or maneuver those things, you know? I wish you could.

See, growing up I always had friends. We went to small churches, but there were a few other kids our ages, so we had friends at church. And we always lived in a neighborhood, so we always had friends down the street or around the block, so we always had friends at home too. I think with kids it's just easier. It's like, "Hey, you like to ride your bike too?" "Yep." "Wanna be my friend?" "Yep." And then you ride your bikes together and you're friends. Now it's like, "Hey, you wanna go out for lunch?" "Can't. Too busy/No money." "Oh. How 'bout next week?" "Can't. Too busy/No money." "Oh. OK. Bye."

I hate that you and Jonathan have such low self-esteem, because everyone I know who knows you both thinks you're awesome! You know why? 'Cause you are! We don't invite you to things out of pity; we invite you to things because we like you. My problem is I know I'm a fun person but I can't figure out how to get other people to realize that! LOL.

Skinnies tucked into boots is one of my favorite looks ever!

Oh my word. Poor guy!

2010-08-01 04:28 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
Yeah I can relate to that (second paragraph): when I was seven or so there were a few girls down the street who would come over, then a family who moved next door. But mom wouldn't ever let me go over to their houses lol

When you're older there's so many more "priorities," things you think you just have to do. Gotta go to work, gotta do schoolwork. But sometimes you just have to realize work will always be there but your friends may not. *sigh* life's annoyances....

Well that's good to know lol I think I work too much.... But yes, you're totally fun and totally awesome.

2010-07-30 21:40 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
Wait, you drink tea now? I thought you hated tea! When did that happen?

2010-07-31 21:09 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
Well, I did the last time I went to the tea house. I got a raspberry honey tea and it was good. Prior to that, when Mel and I went to the tea house, I tried some of her non-flavored tea and it wasn't bad either. I think my tolerance of coffee has influenced my tolerance of tea a bit. But given the choice, I will always choose coffee. =o)

2010-08-01 16:54 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
Wow! I remember when you hated coffee, and now you like tea? What next? Peas? ;)

2010-07-31 13:54 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
I think I'll do your survey. :)

2010-07-31 21:09 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile]
I'm glad you did! I changed a few of the answers and one of the questions when I posted it on FB today. =o)


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